The Mood Ring Effect: Stop Changing Your Voice for People

Are you a mood ring when you speak?

Your boss walks in... change color.

You're talking to someone you admire... change color.

You get on Instagram... change color.

Suddenly you're asking: Should I sound smarter? Funnier? More professional? Less excited? More powerful? Should I tone it down? What version of me is going to work best on this person?

That's what I call The Mood Ring Effect. It's subtly changing your voice, personality, or power based on who's around you because you really, really want this moment to go well.

And as the stakes of our lives get higher... careers, businesses, kids, mortgages, relationships... the pressure to say the right thing gets even louder.

But in this episode, I'm making the case that we've been reading that pressure all wrong.

Pressure isn't the villain. It's the practice.

Because there's no better place to learn how to stay with yourself than a moment when every part of you wants to leave yourself.

I also give you one simple practice to start interrupting the Mood Ring Effect in real time.

Instead of asking:

“What should I say?”

Ask:

“Am I still with myself?”

Because the goal isn't to get better at saying the right thing.

It's to stop leaving yourself when the stakes feel high.

And when you do, people finally get a clear signal of who you actually are.

The wrong people can move along.

And the right people can recognize you a whole lot faster.